A lot has happened in the past 7 months that have required me to develop new and exciting coping mechanisms! One such coping mechanism, I've decided, is writing more. I want to journal (read: incomprehensibly spew my overly emotional day to day thoughts onto this blog in a way I will undoubtedly retrospectively regret) Boy are you all lucky!
Anyway, here's the highlight reel or the past 7 months.
|keeping it classy|
- May: Openly weep in my primary care physicians office when he responds to my fertility concerns with "just relax and it will happen." Consolation prize: he felt like a big fat jerkface.
- June: Patiently obsess over PCPs rushed promise to "figure this out", "get me help" and "do whatever it takes to get you to stop crying or at least leave my office". Consolation prize: feelings of abandonment and strong desire to find a new primary when I receive no follow-up
- July: Call to make my own appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist because fuck you my insurance doesn't need a referral and I'm a nurse and whatever, I do what I want. Consolation prize: August appointment with the regions premier scientific baby-maker.
- August: The dreaded 12 month mark. We are officially infertile. Go to first appointment at RE's office. Notice abbreviation for reproductive endocrinologist and resident evil series are the same. Try hard not to mutter "STAAAAAAAAAARS!" under breath and palm my husband's face while in waiting room. Consolation prize: Scary words like "possible diminished ovarian reserve", "endometriosis", "surgery" and crushing realization that I should probably update my resident evil references.
"I'm sorry doctor, you were saying?"
- September: Confirm diminished ovarian reserve with a low anti-mullerian hormone. Rage at premature old lady ovaries. Consolation prize: SURPRISE MALE FACTOR INFERTILITY!!! Husband's first semen analysis was very wrong.
- October: Surgery confirms and repairs stage II endometriosis. Consolation prize: SURPRISE JACKED UP LEFT OVARY!!! My left ovary was found adhered to my abdominal wall with a fairly distorted fallopian tube. All repaired. We are given the green light for scientific baby making.
- November: IUI - ROUND 1: Mysteriously high estrogen at start of cycle that we continue in spite of. Letrozole cycle that results in a negative. Consolation prize: OH THE HORMONAL WEEPING.
And that brings us up to date. My estrogen is mysteriously high again this cycle and its looking like IUI - ROUND 2 might be canceled. Scary words like "injectables" and "changing protocol" are now being thrown around.
But that's all for now. I'm off to initiate coping mechanism #2 - Real Life Support Group!