Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Fast forward almost twelve months later. The jeans don't fit, the book was a little bit of a let down (sorry F. Paul), I gave up boxing out of fear of popping an ovary and I've got no baby to show for any of my efforts.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Sunday, September 22, 2013
|I'm just going to go ahead and lie|
here until someone casts heal
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Monday, September 9, 2013
Up until now I've been resolutely refusing to consider that fact and distracting myself with all the joys of not actively trying to get pregnant (caffeine and alcohol and allergy medication and intense exercise - yay!) but this morning that all kind of came crashing down around me and I had a wee bit of a freak out.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Now that the BIG DECISION has been made, I thought I would be done pondering all the reasons we decided to walk away. Over the past few days the overwhelming feeling has been one of relief. I've been enjoying all the things one cannot enjoy while actively trying to get knocked up (caffeine and alcohol and allergy medication and intense exercise, ohmy!)
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Friday, August 23, 2013
Let's break this down quick so you all can get up to speed:
- There's been high drama at my clinic. The RE was very ill and they flew a doctor in from across the country to do IVF in August.
- Our IVF failed - we did not even make it to retrieval. I only produced 4 follicles. Aforementioned doctor from across the country (DFAC?) was not there when this happened. The NP and PA both reviewed our files and concluded that we could "do better" and sacked the cycle.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
The first person to tell me there's still caffeine in decaf will get virtually smacked upside the head.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Sunday, May 12, 2013
I didn't have any plans to do any such deprivation today, and while the few posts I've already seen on Facebook this morning did make my heart take that slight dip into my stomach - overall I'm not feeling this day is any different.
Maybe it's partly because I've finally gone numb to it all? I know for a fact it's not because I'm all zen and accepting about our situation (that's for fucks sure).
But the overwhelming feeling I am experiencing at the moment, and perhaps this is why today hasn't sent me into hysterics (yet!) is that I'm not a mom, and can't even aspire to be lumped in with today's celebrants.
That my major life goal right now is so unobtainable that I can't even look at those who have it and be jealous.
And *that* is some shit I need to work on.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Friday, May 3, 2013
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
It's been a bit of an emotional day here. I plan on posting a full entry about this morning's meeting with the doctor soon but for now just a quick slice of funny and some insight into why I'm sure that no matter what happens, A (my husband) and I will be ok.
A - how long do we need to use condoms for?
K - crap, I almost completely forgot about that. I'm glad you remembered, with 11 follicles that would have given a whole new meaning to unsafe sex.
A - man, what would you even call that? Elevenuplets?
K - my uterus explode-ples?
A - Jon and Kate plus fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
:: we dissolve into giggle fit::
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Then my infertility reminded me that there's no way I can be that much of a contributing member of society.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
So far the response has been overwhelmingly positive. I'm hoping to post something every day to raise awareness. I also changed my cover photo to one of the awesome ones Keiko from The Infertility Voice made up. You can find them here: http://theinfertilityvoice.com/niaw-2013/Today marks the start of National Infertility Awareness Week. Infertility is a life changing, devastating, invisible disease. 1 in 8 couples endure painful, invasive, and expensive medical intervention, just for the hope of having a child.Couples like us.So I’m coming out about our struggle this week to raise awareness. Suffering quietly makes it easy for society to dismiss this struggle as unimportant and perpetuates the cultural-silence and shame infertility patients are faced with at diagnosis.This year’s theme is “Join the Movement” and I’m joining by speaking up.Learn more at http://resolve.org/niaw
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Friday, March 1, 2013
Friday, February 15, 2013
Oh well, for right now - here's a baby monkey riding backwards on a pig, because the world has gone insane.
Monday, January 14, 2013
What follows is sort of raw, and more serious than anything I've written here so far, but it felt good to write. I hesitated to publish it, but I want these feelings to be here. Even if they stand in stark contrast to the usual humor I use to lighten this situation, they are how I feel right now and I want them here.