While adoption is still very much an option for us, we're both pretty damn broken right now. We don't feel ready to start on another massively difficult undertaking and we have no illusions that adoption, while it may well be wonderful in the end and is very likely going to be our route to parenthood, will not be a massively difficult undertaking.
Anyway, I was mostly looking for a "how to" guide for getting through these first few days of figuring out life now that I'm not actively trying to get knocked up anymore. This podcast is way more than that, and definitely worth giving a listen.
It made me realize that prior to this I was among the many infertile people who refused to acknowledge a pretty big elephant in the room: those of us who walked away from treatment without a baby.
Those people always seemed so sad to me. Like they'd given up, weren't strong enough, or that their circumstances forced them to no longer to be able to keep fighting to conceive. I was so tempted by thought that we could stop, but also so scared by it. It felt like it was the "weak" decision.
The reality of it is, now that I've made it, walking away from treatment is one of the bravest decisions I have ever made in my life.